In a different manner of handling such things, the character I described was in an on-line game where the other players were unknown quantities. Her anger problems however were initially only known to the DM, and her behavior patterns in dealing with them wouldn’t be clear to others very quickly, if ever. Some might eventually notice over time that her temper was much shorter, but really only if provoked – she mostly withdrew and spent a lot more time meditating, which wouldn’t seem unusual for a monk. The DM however would know that at certain times she (a skilled grappler) was more likely to maim or kill than subdue – even if the party wanted to take prisoners – a single wound would blow any opponent’s chance of surviving the encounter without winning the fight. This was essentially a personal issue of the character which only warranted inclusion in the character’s story in contrast to her spiritual development – making it something primarily for her to deal with, not the other characters.

As a separate hot button issue this could be very good – and can bring up some deeper issues and problems. In a group that is perfectly comfortable with inclusion of a full spectrum of “gritty reality” in the game someone could encounter an unexpected problem with some facet, say abuse in some form, triggering personal issues they hadn’t recognized when it appears as a story element. The gay bashing vignette I mentioned in the first paragraph could bring up long forgotten memory of something that occurred to a classmate in high school – trauma can both manifest and be reflected in surprising ways. Even in an heroic “High fantasy” game which doesn’t normally include “mature” themes, the aftermath of an orc raid on a village, barely described only as “smoking huts and dead bodies” could trigger some major responses from a veteran, or even the adult child of a veteran who had never really come to grips with what they knew about their father’s experiences in Vietnam. Generally low probability scenarios certainly, but it’s not uncommon for people deeply immersing in character to run into difficulty on a smaller scale with less traumatic in-game events.

In interesting parallel to this, I played a (different incarnation of Snargash Moonclaw as a) half-orc monk. Moonclaw in this case was the nickname the other novices in the monastery had given her. She actually had a serious reputation for her PMS rage and concomitant behavior there. However, this was actually a conscious “flaw” (simply as flavor – not something to balance some other added beneficial trait/advantage,) and one of the things she struggled with in her “quest” for enlightenment. Here I was adding hormonal factors to someone with preexisting major anger issues belonging to a race well known for such. Hence I tracked her cycles and played her accordingly – usually through acute withdrawal for the duration of the cyclic phase, but with an eye on potential triggers of her explosive rage. She kept the nickname, viewing it as “fair warning” to others of something she rarely spoke of. Rather than an excuse for unacceptable behavior, her menstrual cycle instead created the potential for producing consequences which she would have to take responsibility for. As a kind of surprising real world example/parallel re: monks dealing with anger, both H.H., the Dalai Lama and Thich Nhat Hanh, major leading figures in the “world peace movement,” state rather emphatically that anger is by far their greatest obstacle, which they continue to have great difficulty dealing with. This is a concept she would readily grasp and relate to.

I have had precious few noteworthy performances in my groups when the players go cross-gender with their characters. The distraction seems to mar their ability to role-play well. I’m not saying it’s a universal constant, it’s just something I grit my teeth over when my odd player or two decide they want to m2f or f2m. I myself have only ever played one female character, and really, the adventuring lifestyle killed a lot of the reward of the female experience. Whoring? Not as much fun if you can get pregnant. Getting taken prisoner brings up whole new anxieties (the kind every character in FATAL faces, but not what you’d want in D&D). I just didn’t have all that much fun with the novelty, and I haven’t done it since.

Aside from filling in for a friend’s game one time, my playing experience on both sides of the screen has (sadly) not involved any female players, and so with only three exceptions I can think of, the PCs have also all been male. One of those players played his two very well, but he roleplays very well period. The other one decided to use Savage Species to play a succubus, and really it didn’t go well. The only reason he played her was to be able to act like a stereotypical succubus. It didn’t add to the whole party experience and was much more of an annoyance. And in fact, the only reason she stayed around as long as she did was because my cleric wasn’t of high enough level to dismiss her. She got killed and sent back to the abyss before I could take care of it, so that problem fixed itself.

I haven’t played a cross-gender PC yet myself, but I’ve played with someone who is – her (frat boy) character hits on my (tiny Chinese alchemist) character all the time, and it is funny, and their dynamic has led to some interesting roleplaying moments. (Mostly it involved jealousy over an NPC. Long story.) All of the players in this particular group are female, so that’s a subplot we would’ve missed if she hadn’t been playing a male character. So my experience with it has been positive.
I do play a lot of male characters as NPCs, of course, but so far they only rarely interact with the PCs in a way where their gender actually makes a difference. The few times that anything more interesting than getting jobs and selling people something has come up, we’ve all handled it well. Again, under those circumstances, where’s the harm?

But, that aside, I play the character that ‘clicks’ with me. Sometimes male, sometimes female, sometimes liminal. And, when I GM, I have no problem with the players getting to play the character they want. I see no more issue with playing a different gender than playing a different race or in a different time or in a radically different culture . . .

I’ve been gaming since 1981, and I’ve spent most of those years as a DM, managing no end of female NPCs. So, for me, playing a woman PC never seemed like a big deal… it wasn’t until I reached the Internet that I learned it’s a hot button topic!

I’m the kind of player who creates characters to fill roles unclaimed by the rest of the group, and if no one else is playing a female, that’s something I think should be represented. I mean, sure, a male PC -could- sneak into the harem, or flirt with the baron, -but-…

I have two women playing in my current campaign, and they’re both playing male PCs (though one also has a second PC who’s female), so it does cut both ways. I agree with rekenner, chat-based gaming makes life in drag much easier, for the GM as well as the players. At one point, the two women were playing their two men, having a conversation about women. It wasn’t until one of them pointed it out that the situation’s peculiarity dawned on me.

And dire emu reminds me of a story I heard about Lara Croft: the developers decided, “If you’re going to be looking at someone’s behind throughout the whole game, it might as well be an attractive one.”

When I’m a DM, I tend to default to male NPCs even more often than the guy DMs whom I know do. I think part of it may be habit – I grew up reading a lot of fantasy novels with male protagonists, so that’s what I first think of. It’s also the nature of the medieval worlds that most of our games are set in – there are more male characters in positions of power than female ones.

I don’t think anyone I know would have a problem with a guy playing a girl character. Our gaming group includes enough genders and sexualities that no one is really phased by anything like that.

I’d agree that online playing seems to lead to more cross-gender characters. It also makes people more flirty. I’m not sure if it’s the type of people attracted to online games (more of them are girls, for one thing), the fact that online play lends itself to in-depth characters, or just the lack of potentially awkward face-to-face interaction.

I originally started playing the female characters because, as an artist, I found they were much more interesting to draw. In addition, nobody else was playing female characters and the adventures seemed rather flat, compared to a lot of the stuff we read, in their absence.

I’ve never played a character of the opposite gender (unless I’m GMing). 99% of the time, I fall into the “play what you know” category, and it’s never really been something I’ve been interested in doing or trying out.