This is Gnome Stew’s 500th article, and we thought to ourselves, “What better way to ring in 500 than with a contest?”

But first, THANK YOU for reading, commenting, linking, and spreading the word about Gnome Stew. We love writing the Stew, and we’re thrilled at how well the site has been received by GMs all over the world — and how much mileage you get out of our articles and the excellent, thoughtful comments that accompany them. We wouldn’t trade our readership and this community for anything.

We’re hoping you’ll help us celebrate this milestone — a number that still makes me do a double-take every time I see it — with some sexy new taglines. Our taglines appear under “The Game Mastering Blog” in the header — chosen at random whenever a page is loaded or refreshed.

Want to see your taglines atop the Stew — and maybe win something saucy in the process? Read on!

The Prize

Grand prize: There’s one grand prize: a copy of the brand new Alpha Omega creature collection, The Encountered: Volume I, courtesy of Mind Storm Labs. Mind Storm sold out of all the copies they brought to GenCon — this is one shiny book.

Alpha Omega is one of my favorite new RPGs. I wrote about how to GM Alpha Omega a little while back, and it’s a damned fine game. Without hyperbole, The Encountered is one of the best monster books I’ve ever read — and I’ve got a couple dozen from various games sitting on my shelf.

My favorite thing about it is that it showcases each critter in context — as part of a scene, in its natural habitat, etc. It’s sumptuously produced, intuitively organized, and just plain beautiful all around. Mind Storm offers a 15 MB preview PDF, if you’d like a closer look.

Taglines, HOOOOOOO!: If the idea of seeing your tagline pop up on Gnome Stew is appealing, this contest is for you. We’ll select taglines from ALL entries (not just the winning entry) and incorporate them into the site.

Our basic tagline formula involves 1-3 of the following elements: 1) GMing-related, 2) gnome- or stew-related, 3) funny. The best taglines combine two elements — or all three.

How to Enter

Entering is easy, as always: just comment on this article and write at least one Gnome Stew tagline in your comment.

You’re welcome to include multiple taglines in one comment, and comment as often as you like; only your first comment will be eligible for the random drawing.

Please note that by entering, the tagline or taglines you submit become the property of Gnome Stew. You grant the site full copyright and intellectual property rights to submitted taglines, and just like our current taglines there won’t be any attribution as to who wrote what.

To comment, you’ll need a free Gnome Stew account. Registering is quick and easy.


As we usually do with our contests, we’ll choose the grand prize winner at random. Make sure the email associated with your Stew account is real, since that’s how we’ll contact the winner.

We’ll select taglines to add to the site from ALL comments, not just the winning comment.

The contest ends at 9:00 PM Mountain time on Wednesday, September 30th, 2009, with the grand prize winner announced on the Stew a couple of days later.

Many thanks to Mind Storm Labs for donating our kickass grand prize — and good luck to all you dirty, dirty gnome-lovers out there!

About  Martin Ralya

A father, husband, writer, small-press publisher, former RPG industry freelancer, and lifelong geek, Martin has been gaming since 1987 and GMing since 1989. You can find out a bit more about him on his personal website.

40 Responses to Contest: Help Us Turn 500 with New Taglines

  1. “If it’s got dice, we’ll cover it.”
    “It’s like Chicken Soup for the Game Master. Extra beardy.”
    “We sit and talk in front of people who sit and talk in front of people.”
    “Gnome Stew: Available with Constitution or Charisma.”
    (Get it? Get it? It’s a reference to how D&D 3.5 gnomes had +2 Constitution and 4e gnomes have +2 Charisma… And you guys have both… Okay, so not funny.)

  2. spenser

    Gnome Stew – It’s what’s for dinner!

  3. “Hey baby, want to see my lair?”

    “There’s no place like gnome.”

  4. “Gnome Stew – So Meaty!”

    “Gnome Stew – More Meat – Less Filler”

  5. “Short in stature, tall in content.”

    “Your daily meal of useful game advice.”

    “Chock full of Game Mastering Advice.”

    “Fortified by Reader Comments.”

  6. Wow! Some really excellent tagline ideas above. Don’t think I can top what’s already come, but here’s my entries anyway =)

    “Only organic Gnomes were used in making this site.”

    Hmm…Creative block. Guess I’ll just stick with the above and come back later if inspiration gives me a jolt. Can’t wait to see what the other readers come up with!

  7. “Where are we going and why am I in this cauldron?”

    “100% GMing advice, 0% high fructose corn syrup.” (or trans fats, depending on which trend you prefer)

  8. “Gnome News is Good News”

  9. Ok, a few more…

    “Now FDA approved source of 12 essential vitamins including 100% USRDA vitamin GM.”

    “Nine out of ten orcs prefer our brand of Gnome Stew compared to all other competing brands.”

    “Choosy Mom’s choose Gnome Stew.”

  10. I’ll throw in a couple to season the stew:

    “Go Gnome or Go Home!”

    “Once you’ve had Gnome Stew, you’ll never go back.”

    “Over a billion GMs served.”

    “Taste the difference gnomes make.”

    “It’s good for what ails your game.”

    “Choosey GMs choose Gnome Stew.”

    “Gnomes don’t make great games. Gnomes make games great.”

    “Add flavor to your games with Gnome Stew.”

    Good luck to all and thanks for the contest! :)

  11. Gnome Stew – 4d6 inches tall, drop a comment.

    Gnome Stew – Because we couldn’t get ‘Mind Flayer Juice’ past our brand manager.

  12. “Better GMing than a stew of gnomes”
    “Let stewed gnomes improve your game”
    “Better ingredients, better GMing”

  13. “The best recipes for GMs”
    “Gnome parts for GMs brains”
    “Stewing ideas (and gnomes) for better GMing”
    “The best stew for GMs in the world!”
    “Gnome stew might be disgusting but our advice is not”
    “Stuff to chew on”

  14. Now 100% Dwarf-free

  15. Like everything else, it’s better with cheese

    Elves too skinny? Dwarves too fat? Gnomes are juuuuust right.

  16. For all those who felt outcast at not being able to do one single pull-up.

  17. Not your garden variety gnomes.

    Standing head and shoulders over the Gnomes of Zurich.

    Gnome Stew, overflowing with GM goodness.

    GM consultants – short in stature, tall in quality.

    Gnome Stew – more gaming, less filler.

    No gnomes were harmed in the making of this GM stew.

    Gnome Stew – taste the adventure!

  18. “Tasty Stew, Tastier Advice”

    “One Serving Provides 100% of your Daily DM Advice”

    “It’s Dark, Cold, and I hear Dice Rolling”

    “Ask us about the special ingredient (Hint: Its Gnome)”

    “We’re here to serve stew and give advice and we’re all out of stew”

    “Guaranteed not to give you cancer”

  19. Inuendo taglines:

    Hot GN on GM action
    New risque gnome photos uploaded daily
    Live sexy gnome video
    Meet sexy local gnomes
    Hot barely legal gnomes

    And the outlier:
    A gnome is a terrible thing to waste

  20. “I have had it with these motherf$&%ing gnomes on this motherf$&%ing site!”

  21. Gnome Stew-cause the lil’ ones know all the best secrets.

    We’re up to Gnome good.

  22. GM me baby, one more time!

  23. Made from all natural ingredients (and gnomes)

  24. “Clever, but it’s gnomes all the way down.”

    “We’d have a tagline here but a gnome stole them all”

    “You enter the blog, it is 10ft by 10ft. There is a gnome in the center of the blog. Roll initiative.”

    “Part of a completed balanced breakfast (warning: may contain nuts)”

  25. From the mouths of gnomes…

  26. “Sniff out good gaming recipes in Gnome Stew.”

  27. Short advice for a for a lifetime of gaming.

  28. “Red pointy hats not included.”
    “Just add holy water.”
    “The gnome, the gnome, the gnome is on fire!”

    And my favorite:
    “Stir until bearded.”

  29. Half tasty crunch, half sweet fluff, all gnome!

  30. GM Gnome Nom Nom

  31. “Gnome Stew: Heartily endorsed by Kobolds everywhere”

  32. “Proving daily that size doesn’t matter.”

    “It’s not the size of the advice, it’s what you do with it that matters.”

    “Is that a pointy hat or are you just happy to see me?”

  33. “I like Gnome’s too.”

  34. “So many Gnome’s, too little time”

  35. At the sign of the pointy hat
    Gnever gnomic
    No transgnomic products used
    It is the wisdom of the moderns!
    Roll a gnome, get critical

  36. “Now with extra D6s”
    “Gnome-body knows gaming like we do”
    “Bearded, for your GMing pleasure”
    “Serve over dice for a refreshing snack”
    “Save vs Gnomishness or lose your bad GMing habbits”

  37. Epic Success on your search for GMing advice. Welcome to Gnome Stew.

    Experience costs for increasing your GMing skill is halved while on this page.

    Thanks for 500 great posts guys!

  38. Gnome Stew: +5 to GMing

    Read Gnome Stew or die

    Game mastering just got easier with Gnome Stew

    Nom nom nom Gnome Stew

    Your players will thank you for eating gnome stew, they won’t for the gas though

    With gnome stew there is no reason to fear that dire weasel

    Make your games gnomeilicous with gnome stew

    Stew, gnomes, game master advice, what else do you need?

    It has gnomes in it! It has to be good!

  39. Gnambo! It’s got electrolytes!

  40. This contest is now over — our thanks to everyone who entered! We’ve got some killer taglines to mull over.

    We’ll announce the lucky winner in the next couple of days. :-)