As it happens, the story is moving toward a happy ending largely on its own. We’re gearing up to play a different system, and studying up on the (slightly more involved) rules seems to be distracting Kid Brother from his ego a bit. We’re all equally confused, now, and all equally willing to admit it — that’s something.

Seriously, you may just need to let this go. It’s his decision to be a lazy GM; you can’t make it for him. If you’ve tried reaching out (and I mean really tried, so that there’s no doubt as to what you’re saying), and he doesn’t change, that’s about all you can do.

If it’s enough of a problem that his game really suffers, then treat him like any other bad GM: Move on.

In the end, if everyone is having fun, there may not be a great need to nudge. I’ve seen what can happen when someone is nudged so hard that it becomes a push and that has never ended well.

I think you can gauge a GM’s willingness to be nudged by how well that GM takes feedback. Do they actively ask for game feedback? Do they accept constructive feedback? Do they respond defensively or negatively when given feedback?

I feel that a GM who enjoys or seeks out constructive feedback is going to be more open to nudges than one who does not. That has been my experience at least. Having the other party be a sibling though? Man, that has to be even more difficult when sibling rivalry is tossed into the mix.

@John Arcadian – It sounds like just running a game yourself was a good way to learn/show the content GM a few new tricks– and give him a game to play in. I agree that a radically different game might help illustrate how many options there are in the world of roleplaying.

I would say offer to run a one-shot game in a different system, something that is VASTLY different from whatever you are playing. If you are running D&D, try something like Dogs In The Vineyard, Fudge, or Dread. Run anything that is different in style and what tools the GM has to bring to bear. Watching someone else GM something in a way that is completely different from his set style might open his mind a bit. That, or buy him a copy of Robin’s Laws of Good Gamemastering as a birthday or holiday gift. It is a quick read that really addresses some core concepts of what being a GM is.

I’d be sure to point out that you’re not necessarily trying to change his gaming style, but rather you’re trying to help him expand his current toolkit for gaming. In a case like this, when someone really doesn’t want to change, but they should, then it’s of paramount importance to not imply that their current method is wrong, but rather that change is expansion in this case.