Comments on: Basic Human Respect: The perfect spice for your own GnomeStew http://www.gnomestew.com/gming-advice/basic-human-respect-the-perfect-spice-for-your-own-gnomestew The Game Mastering Blog Sat, 11 Feb 2012 00:00:43 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.1 By: Hautamaki http://www.gnomestew.com/gming-advice/basic-human-respect-the-perfect-spice-for-your-own-gnomestew/comment-page-1#comment-672 Hautamaki Thu, 05 Jun 2008 10:05:53 +0000 http://www.gnomestew.com/?p=151#comment-672 I've been pretty insulated from a lot of stuff I guess! I've been playing and running games since I was 14 (over 10 years) but there sure are loads of horror stories about personality conflicts that I've never personally experienced. Hard to believe some of this stuff comes up enough to even be said. I guess I've just been really lucky. And, I think this is key, I've never played with anyone that wasn't a very good friend of mine BEFORE we started to play D&D together, with only a single exception. I guess that's where the lucky part comes in; he turned out to be a perfectly normal human being and we became great friends through our shared D&D experiences, instead of my normal route, which is having great D&D experiences through our shared friendship.<div class="comment-remix-meta"><a href="#" class="replyto" onclick="replyto('672','Hautamaki'); return false;">Reply</a> </div> I’ve been pretty insulated from a lot of stuff I guess! I’ve been playing and running games since I was 14 (over 10 years) but there sure are loads of horror stories about personality conflicts that I’ve never personally experienced. Hard to believe some of this stuff comes up enough to even be said. I guess I’ve just been really lucky. And, I think this is key, I’ve never played with anyone that wasn’t a very good friend of mine BEFORE we started to play D&D together, with only a single exception. I guess that’s where the lucky part comes in; he turned out to be a perfectly normal human being and we became great friends through our shared D&D experiences, instead of my normal route, which is having great D&D experiences through our shared friendship.
Reply
]]> By: Martin Ralya http://www.gnomestew.com/gming-advice/basic-human-respect-the-perfect-spice-for-your-own-gnomestew/comment-page-1#comment-664 Martin Ralya Wed, 04 Jun 2008 23:36:11 +0000 http://www.gnomestew.com/?p=151#comment-664 This dovetails nicely with Patrick's <a href="http://www.gnomestew.com/gming-advice/5-mistakes-of-the-new-gm" rel="nofollow">5 Mistakes of the New GM</a>, and in both cases this is foundation-level advice that I really, really wish I'd heard when I was first starting out. Well said, Matt!<div class="comment-remix-meta"><a href="#" class="replyto" onclick="replyto('664','Martin Ralya'); return false;">Reply</a> </div> This dovetails nicely with Patrick’s 5 Mistakes of the New GM, and in both cases this is foundation-level advice that I really, really wish I’d heard when I was first starting out.

Well said, Matt!

Reply
]]> By: brcarl http://www.gnomestew.com/gming-advice/basic-human-respect-the-perfect-spice-for-your-own-gnomestew/comment-page-1#comment-660 brcarl Wed, 04 Jun 2008 17:45:47 +0000 http://www.gnomestew.com/?p=151#comment-660 Having played WoW and a couple other MMORPGs, I have found that social interaction problems like the ones described in this article are more common than in tabletop RPGs. I think this is due mainly to the fact that electronic interaction by definition shields you from what would normally be immediate repercussions of socially unacceptable behavior. Some people take advantage of this in order to act on urges they know would affect them negatively in the real world. :( Also, online it's hard to tell if you're dealing with a frustrated individual or a griefer until you've interacted for a while. Right or not, IRL you get some visual cues to help form an opinion more quickly. I also agree with Cole's comments that if you're dealing with these sorts of issues on a regular basis, it's probably time to consider a different hobby, or at least find a new group of "friends."<div class="comment-remix-meta"><a href="#" class="replyto" onclick="replyto('660','brcarl'); return false;">Reply</a> </div> Having played WoW and a couple other MMORPGs, I have found that social interaction problems like the ones described in this article are more common than in tabletop RPGs. I think this is due mainly to the fact that electronic interaction by definition shields you from what would normally be immediate repercussions of socially unacceptable behavior. Some people take advantage of this in order to act on urges they know would affect them negatively in the real world. :(

Also, online it’s hard to tell if you’re dealing with a frustrated individual or a griefer until you’ve interacted for a while. Right or not, IRL you get some visual cues to help form an opinion more quickly.

I also agree with Cole’s comments that if you’re dealing with these sorts of issues on a regular basis, it’s probably time to consider a different hobby, or at least find a new group of “friends.”

Reply
]]> By: Scott Martin http://www.gnomestew.com/gming-advice/basic-human-respect-the-perfect-spice-for-your-own-gnomestew/comment-page-1#comment-658 Scott Martin Wed, 04 Jun 2008 17:33:15 +0000 http://www.gnomestew.com/?p=151#comment-658 I'd go further and state that anything that has has you thinking about "punishment" really needs to be a player-to-player discussion. If they're doing something wrong because they didn't know, then they'll be informed. If they were doing something wrong and got caught, it's out in the open and they're warned against doing it again. Trying to solve it in game results in confusion (if he doesn't understand what he did wrong, he can't learn) or a warped world (a world where rocks fall, everybody dies).<div class="comment-remix-meta"><a href="#" class="replyto" onclick="replyto('658','Scott Martin'); return false;">Reply</a> </div> I’d go further and state that anything that has has you thinking about “punishment” really needs to be a player-to-player discussion. If they’re doing something wrong because they didn’t know, then they’ll be informed. If they were doing something wrong and got caught, it’s out in the open and they’re warned against doing it again.

Trying to solve it in game results in confusion (if he doesn’t understand what he did wrong, he can’t learn) or a warped world (a world where rocks fall, everybody dies).

Reply
]]> By: Cole http://www.gnomestew.com/gming-advice/basic-human-respect-the-perfect-spice-for-your-own-gnomestew/comment-page-1#comment-650 Cole Wed, 04 Jun 2008 14:44:33 +0000 http://www.gnomestew.com/?p=151#comment-650 Ask yourself what you are getting out of spending time in either place. If the answer is “I feel stressed” or “It feels like a job”, you should take a break and ask some hard questions. Maybe the answer you get will be, “stop with that activity” or even “stop caring and just enjoy the game.” Whatever they are, the sooner you find them, the faster you can get back to the “having fun” part of a hobby.<div class="comment-remix-meta"><a href="#" class="replyto" onclick="replyto('650','Cole'); return false;">Reply</a> </div> Ask yourself what you are getting out of spending time in either place. If the answer is “I feel stressed” or “It feels like a job”, you should take a break and ask some hard questions. Maybe the answer you get will be, “stop with that activity” or even “stop caring and just enjoy the game.” Whatever they are, the sooner you find them, the faster you can get back to the “having fun” part of a hobby.
Reply
]]>