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What? You actually want advice for a GM today?

You know it isn’t just another Thursday, right? Today is Thanksgiving.

Okay, maybe you don’t live in the United States. If that is the case just imagine that it is another holiday such as May Day, Boxing Day, Cinco de Mayo, or Talk Like A Pirate Day. Yeah, Thanksgiving is that important. As important as the 4th of July (patriotism with explosives), President’s Day (patriotism with sales), or the Super Bowl (patriotism with refereed violence and commercials). Add to that list the amazing feast of Thanksgiving (patriotism with gluttony).

So you are just going to have to deal with the fact that we in the States decided to put everything on hold today, because this day is important to us. Many years ago the pilgrims left somewhere that wasn’t America so that they could find America. After seeing their shadows there was six more weeks of winter and they nearly starved to death. Luckily the Native Americans showed up with a turkey and Jesus was so impressed by this that he declared it a national holiday even before there was a nation. Jesus is smart like that.

That is why we must observe today and rest. Come back tomorrow. Or hit a site for GMs hosted in Canada. They celebrate Thanksgiving in early October because they use the metric system. You can get advice for GMs from anywhere else in the world today, but if you are a United States citizen you are legally bound to take the day off and to eat a turkey and to do nothing else.

Wait a minute… You don’t live in the United States do you? Do you?!? YOU DO!!!

What is wrong with you?? Why would you be coming to this site today?? It is THANKSGIVING!!!

What is so special about your game that you came for GMing advice today??? This is a Jesus approved holiday! It is bad enough that we already pissed Jesus off with that whole $700 billion bailout package. Where do you think that money came from? That’s right – Jesus. Only Jesus has $700 billion. Jesus has more money than God.

Seriously, tell your group to back off. Take a break, put the rules book down, and just relax. Enjoy a nice meal with your family and friends. Otherwise Jesus will start giving some other nation like Atlantis all the cool holidays.

Really! What were you thinking? Don’t you know your history?

Happy Thanksgiving everybody! ;)

About  Patrick Benson

Patrick was born in 1975, and is more or less your typical American male for someone of his age. Except he is a tabletop RPG gamer and a damn fine game master! What else matters?



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4 Responses to Go Eat The Freakin’ Turkey ALREADY!

  1. My gaming group and I are having our own thanksgiving. Jesus already doesn’t love us because we’re all Jews and athiests, or worse, Unitarians. Besides, we kicked him out of our game for being such a munchkin. I mean, raise dead at lvl 1? Who does that?

  2. ROFL!!

    And that’s all I’ll say… … …

  3. Wow, this was pretty much ingenious. Well said, sir, well said.

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