Dinna mind the intrusion. ‘Tis just meself, Captain Hyman Grinder and me crew, taking liberty with your Stew. (Arr, a poet and dinna know it…)

Listen up, sea-dogs! Thar be a right powerful day on the morrow… ‘Tis International Talk Like A Pirate Day. So swab your poop-decks and polish your hornpipe, me laddies and lasses, or I’ll be teachin’ ye the real meaning of “Jolly Roger”.

Now don’t go gettin’ yer britches in a sheepshank. Me and the crew, you see, we ain’t no pirates! Narr… We’re just, arr, what ye might call, er, yachting enthusiasts. Aye! That’s it indeed. Yachting enthusiasts.

What’s that? Do I know any good pirate jokes? Sure, lad…

• So this pirate, he walks into a bar, and he’s got a wee little ship’s wheel sticking out of his fly. The bartender, he asks (in a polite way, of course) what is up with the wee little ship’s wheel, and the pirate, he says “Arr. It’s drivin’ me nuts!”
• What do pirates and pimps have in common? They both like to say “Yo ho!”
• I asked a landlubber if he’s ever been sucked a-sea before, and he snapped back that he’s been blown ashore many a time!

But enough of these here fun and games! Steer your browser back to the Stew on the morrow, and we’ll have a bit o’ grog for ye.

Aye, that means Saturday, you bilge rats!

About  Kurt "Telas" Schneider

Kurt Schneider played D&D in 1979 at summer camp, and was hooked. He lives with his wife, daughters, and dog in Austin TX, where he writes stuff, and tries to stay get fit. Look for his rants under the nom de web Telas or TelasTX. Quote: “A game is only as balanced – or as good – as the GM."

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